What's happening now..?

Did i make a grave mistake..? I don't think so.

This is such a small matter which every single one of us can settle it if we just be straight-forward, tell each other what went wrong and what can be done to avoid misunderstandings.

I shall not try to hide anything anymore.

I'll start off with,

SHARIFAH..

I've known you for almost five years now. We started getting close only when we were in sec3. i know, last time, i, edah, bai, ana have laughed at you over certain matters. I remembered when we joked around about you and everything. We joked, we laughed till we even cried. Some jokes hurt you, but you got over it after some time. I have never hated you or your attitude. You seldom fight back, you seldom get upset over small things.
I didn't think matters would get this complex. I know I haven't been around with you a lot lately. You may think I'm workaholic, like what Syirah said, but I'm doing this for a reason. It's really hard how to tell all of you my situation right now as it's way to complicated for myself to handle. I remembered you called me a day before Teacher's Day. I heard Yati's voice insisting on me to come meet all of you. I really appreciated that you actually called me to ask me out. I remembered telling you that I'm working 8pm to 6am that night. I told you to remind and call me again on the day we were supposed to meet. I said I'll be coming but a bit later. You said "OK lah, nanti pape aku kol kau lagi besok." And I said OK. I was hurt when i woke up the next day to find that NOBODY called to wake me up. I kept quiet as I thought all of you would have probably gone home or had other plans. I was hurt,sad but I wasn't angry. Honestly, I'm not angry even now.

BAIDURA

I used to call you my "pantat" remember? I also remembered on the day we were supposed to go out for Edah's birthday. You wanted us to have a conference, and you called me. But I was working at that point of time and i told you this, "pape tnye aku dulu tgk aku free ke tak,msg ajer,aku takleh call." You said OK and we hung up. Then after work, I sms you, asking so what's the plan. You said we were going out on Saturday. I replied saying I can't make it as I promised my mom I would follow her to Arab Street and i have to go work straight after that. You were not happy. You replied saying "sume da plan cantek2, kau lak takleh." Lemme tell you, I was hurt by what you said. I already said anything ask me see how and you said OK and then you got angry i couldn't make it. However, I said I'm sorry I can't join, without being angry at all. Now, I know you are mad at me. Even the way you tagged me about me being busy was somehow hurtful, if you notice. I tagged you back saying I will break fast with everyone in a nice way saying "tu pon kalau ade org sudi" cos I knew you were angry.

EDAH

I like you as much as I like the rest. I was sad that day I thought I couldn't make it for you birthday meeting. I even gave u a friendster message to say how sorry I was. I was so glad that at last the plan didn't work out so at least, I didn't miss a thing. I liked disturbing you, make you laugh and everything. I didn't hate you since the day we started being close, even the day when you and Bai threw the pieces of papers to Yati yang maki2 tu. I was the one who took time to reply to your long-printed letter back then, remember? I was also the one who managed to make you and Bai come back to us, even though it took us long. You were closer to me than Raihana last time cos Raihana at that time refused to talk to you and Bai. Kite klua buke puase, I remembered Bai saying she will feel weird Raihana's around cos they never talk but I kept convincing her that eveything will be fine. And so it did. At that point of time, Raihana was a bit ok with you so the both of you started talking. Wasn't i glad at that time. Now, I think you like her more than me, well, it's ok. Im not a good friend. She's better. I'm fine.

YATI

I really have nothing much to talk about her as it's been really long since i saw her. You are a nice girl Yati.

INSYIRAH

My friend since kindergarten. I loved you like my own sister. I always thought you were cute. Your voice and everything. I remember me and Raihana scolded you cos you were easily distracted while studying. I remembered I told you that whatever happens, you can always contact me and i hugged you. Do you remember? I'm very sorry for the incident about you wanting to work at my place. But just wait for the call, cos I've already submitted your name. You are always the neutral one. I can just talk nonense with you and never getting tired. I helped you tell Andrew you liked him, I helped you get his number, I even helped you take pictures with hum during Racial Harmony Day. Now, I know you are angry at me, it's ok.

RAIHANA

My most giler friend ever. I can just laugh my lungs out when I'm with you. You are the one yg susah betol nak ubah kan cos once you hate that someone, it's hard for you to change. I know how much you hated Bai and Edah back then when they used vulgarities on us. You were the very last person to talk to them. Bai and Edah were scared of you, do you know that? But i talked to them, I talked to you, finally, everything is back to normal. I've never excluded you in anything. You were always the 1st to know about me. I guess it's now no longer that way. You are closer to the rest, not me. I am not blaming you. Everyone is mad at me now. Syirah told me semua dah malas nak layan. That hurt to the core. Well, I guess in your blog you said "GIRLFRIENDS -1" referred to me. If you really want it to be that way, I have no right to stop you. Like I said, it's hard for you to change your feelings. Just want you to know that I still have that piece of paper which you wrote to me.If I'm not wrong, I was your mortal or vice versa.

Girls,I'm sorry for the things I've done, mostly about not being able to join you people. IF all of you want to know why i have time for other people, it's because they are free when I'm free. I don't usually know when I'm free. It's always last minute and it's hard to gather every single one of you in such short notice that's why I wait for one of you to plan. I want us to all meet up as I'm usually free at night, that's why I don't ask you guys out. Cos I'm sure not all can come.
I know every single one of you are really angry at me. I'm doing my part by saying sorry. I don't expect all of you to say sorry to me even though all of you also hurt me a lot. Accept my forgiveness. I don't want any of you to hold grudges. Dah nak puasa, bulan Ramadhan, bulan baik. Saying sorry is never easy but I want this to end. PLS. This is way too childish. Let's not fight as if it's something so huge. It wouldn't have been like this if someone voiced out your unhappiness about me. Let's just end this now. Then I won't bother any of you.

it's either you read or leave

this is lina ~ 12:57 AM